Sunday, January 27, 2008

Book of the Week, Episode V

When Greg Lamberson asked me to write the foreword to his novel JOHNNY GRUESOME, I told him to feel free to keep me in mind as a last-minute emergency backup, but that he should really try to get some B-movie icon instead. This was not me being an unmotivated lazy bum--this book screamed for somebody like Robert Englund to pen the introduction.

The problem with this scenario is that JOHNNY GRUESOME was to be signed by Greg, cover/interior artist Zack McCain, and whoever wrote the foreword. B-movie icons, who sit at tables at conventions and charge twenty bucks a pop to sign their picture, are not generally inclined to sign a few hundred signature sheets for free. Authors, on the other hand, squeal with delight when you hand them one of their own books. "You want me to sign this? Really? Oh, thank you! May I walk your dog for you?"

So I ended up writing the foreword and signing my name over and over and over. In the foreword, I decided that I was going to focus exclusively on JOHNNY GRUESOME: THE NOVEL, but of course the project is noteworthy for an unprecedented amount of tie-in material for a small press horror novel. There's a music CD, created by Giasone and Marcy Italiano, which is damn good. It's in high rotation on my iPod, and stands on its own as far more than just a promo for the book. Greg directed a music video/short film based on the song "Gruesome," which I actually got to see on the big screen at Halloweenapalooza. There are trading cards and comic books and Halloween masks and even a "Johnny Gruesome: Zombie President '08" bumper sticker.

It's the first novel published by Bad Moon Books, who've done several nice-lookin' chapbooks. I could say "for their first novel-length project, Bad Moon has done a phenomenal job," but I don't even need to add the disclaimer. This is a fantastic looking book--period. It more than lives up to the standards of other respected publishers in the limited edition market. C'mon, the interior illustrations are in full color! Sweet!

As for the story itself, it's a fun, gory zombie slasher romp. But an extremely well-written one...fun + gory + zombie does not mean that Lamberson skimps on characterization or attention to detail. We care about the characters even when they don't have a homicidal zombie teenager trying to kill them. Fortunately, though, there are plenty of scenes with a homicidal zombie teenager trying to kill them.

Ultimately, whether or not you will enjoy JOHNNY GRUESOME can be determined by a simple glance at the cover. Would you buy a book with that cover? If so, then whip out that credit card and prepare yourself for one wild ride. If you cluck your tongue and turn up your nose and make a little "huff" sound, I cannot in good conscience tell you that you'll enjoy the book.



C'mon over to http://slimeguy.com/gruesomeBook.htm, kiddies!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Cheap(er) DISPOSAL! Today Only!

Today you can get 20% off DISPOSAL (or any in-stock book at Shocklines)! But only today, Friday the 25th! Don't dilly-dally!

Just visit http://shocklines.stores.yahoo.net/dinobjestbha.html, and then use coupon code SHOCKTWENTY.

It's Newsletter Time!

I just sent out my first Seriously Whacked newsletter of 2008. If you're a regular reader of my blog, there's probably not a whole lot of motive to subscribe to the newsletter, since it basically just compiles the most important self-promo blog pieces into one convenient package. But it does contain extra little scraps of new stuff, so if you're the kind of person who wants EVERY SINGLE JOKE, including the one about a hippie commune, then send a blank e-mail to:

seriouslywhacked-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Rest assured that I resist the temptation to change subscriber's mail options. Quite a few people are set to "Web Only," but they never check for new messages, I just know it!!! Damn them!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bad Candy House (With Ketchup!)

Today I discovered an odd new treat in the vending machine: Ketchup & Fries flavored potato chips. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we've now reached a point in our culture where we're selling fried potato products flavored like other fried potato products!

I bought them, of course. They tasted like ketchup-flavored potato chips. Which wasn't quite as disgusting as it should have been.

In even more exciting news, Dread Central has just uploaded the latest edition of Dreadtime Stories...and this time, it's my short story "The Bad Candy House," from WAITING FOR OCTOBER, read by me! By clicking on the handy link right here:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/node/25925

...you can listen to it directly from the website, download it to your computer, or even grab it from iTunes for free!

WARNING: Contains course language (including the F-word), violence, and an overall mean-spirited attitude. But it's also funny.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

GMT & BL TOC

Yesterday's blog was sullied by faulty intelligence. GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES, the collection that received a splendid review right here...

http://www.darkscribemagazine.com/reviews/gleefully-macabre-tales-jeff-strand.html

...remains available in miniature quantities for your purchasing ecstasy. Grab ye a copy right here before they go bye-bye.

https://www.horror-mall.com/store/product.php?productid=16740&cat=0&page=1

And, in other news, here's the table of contents of BLOOD LITE!

"The Ungrateful Dead" by Kelley Armstrong
"Mr. Bear" by Joe Lansdale
"Hell in a Handbasket" by Lucien Soulban
"The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror" by Christopher Welch
"Elvis Presley and the Bloodsucker Blues" by Matt Vence
"No Problem" by Don D'Ammassa
"Old School" by Mark Onspaugh
"The Sound of Blunder" by J.A. Konrath and F. Paul Wilson
"An Evening with Al Gore" by Charlaine Harris
"Dear Prudence" by Steven Savile
"A Good Psycho is Hard to Find" by Will Ludwigsen
"High Kicks and Misdemeanors" by Janet Berliner
"P.R. Problems" by Eric James Stone
"Where Angels Fear to Tread" by Sherrilyn Kenyon
"A Very Special Girl" by Mike Resnick
"Loveseat Solitaire" by D.L. Snell
"I Know Who You Ate Last Summer" by Nancy Holder
"Bitches of the Night" by Nancy Kilpatrick
"The Bell . . . FROM HELL!!!" by Jeff Strand
"Dead Hand" by Sharyn McCrumb
"Day Off" by Jim Butcher

Monday, January 14, 2008

The 1st Official GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES Review

By Michele Lee for Dark Scribe Magazine. Says stuff like "Gleefully Macabre Tales, a collection likely to achieve cult classic status, is a must-buy for horror lovers."

Of course, you can't must-buy it now, because it's sold out! Hahahahahahaha! Still, that shouldn't stop you from checking out the review...

http://www.darkscribemagazine.com/reviews/gleefully-macabre-tales-jeff-strand.html

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Mr. Corpse Glory

FearZone has named THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE the best work of 2007!

Well, okay...they named it the best comedic work of 2007. But, hey, that included TV and movies!

And, yeah, FearZone is a horror site, so technically they named it the best horror/comedy of 2007.

Still, regardless of the subdivisions of glory, there's a nice write-up on the book at the handy URL below.

http://www.fearzone.com/blog/best-comedy

Happy 2008, You Ruffians!

Is there a politically correct replacement for "Happy New Year" for people who don't celebrate the new year?

I hope everybody has a super-duper 2008. I'm now old enough that I start saying dumb stuff like "Wow, 2007 went fast!" so hopefully 2008 slows down the pace a bit.

The X-Mas story I posted on my newly redesigned website will vanish without a trace on Thursday, so if you want to give it a read (it's very short), head on over to http://www.jeffstrand.com and check it out!

I'd originally decided that my website would be a democracy where everybody gets an equal voice, and so I approved the comment from the guy who asked if I actually get paid for my writing, because he thought the story sucked. Then, a couple days later, I decided that a dictatorship was the way to go and deleted it. The power! The sweet, sweet nectar of power! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!