The Lines of Communication are OPEN!

Hey, I've got a new message board, right here at the Horror Mall:

http://www.horror-mall.com/forum/index.php?showforum=38

Stop by. Ask questions. Post stuff. Cause a ruckus. Have fun.

Book of the Week, Episode IV

I'm gonna do something a little different this week. Instead of discussing a recent small press title and explaining that you have to order it NOW NOW NOW!!! if you don't want to miss out, let's turn back the clock a few years to James A. Moore's novel FIREWORKS, a mass market release which is readily available at Amazon for a mere $6.99.

Though Jim Moore achieved worldwide fame, the respect of his peers, and a bunch of extra cash to feed ducks when I allowed him to collaborate with me on our eternal masterpiece THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR, it's a little-known fact that he had dabbled in fiction on his own before our association. I know I was surprised to walk into my local Barnes & Noble and see a whole slew of Jim Moore books on the shelves. "Look!" I said, tugging excitedly on my wife's sleeve. "That's the guy I wrote that book with! How cool that he doesn't need me to hold his hand anymore!"

But my excitement quickly turned into dark jealousy as I flipped through the books and realized that most of them were published before we wrote even the first word of our novel. How DARE he write books without me? Who the bleep did he think he was, building a successful career and hiding it from me like a shameful infidelity?

My dark jealousy quickly turned into despair. I thought I'd plucked Jim Moore from obscurity, but was it possible that he didn't need to ride my coattails to get a book contract? I'd always assumed that his top billing on THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR was strictly alphabetical...but was that really the case? Was it I who was the leech? Was Jim Moore...slumming?

I wept.

Anyway, FIREWORKS was the first Jim Moore novel I read, before he knew who the hell I was. On the surface, it's about aliens, but the last thing you want to do is go into this one thinking "Yeee-haw! I'm-a gonna read 'bout Martians disintegrating people!" This book contains nary a disintegration. The twist is that FIREWORKS is barely about the aliens at all. It's about what happens to a small town when a spacecraft crashes into a lake, and the government steps in to take control of the situation.

Yep, FIREWORKS deals entirely with the human reaction to the spacecraft and not the alien contents. It's a fascinating novel, filled with the rich and believable characterizations that you'll find in all of his work, and you never quite know where things are headed. Very highly recommended.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/103-1204403-8405452?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=james+a.+moore

A Free Dark-n-Twisted Holiday Story

To celebrate my newly redesigned website, I've written a very dark, grisly holiday tale called "We Believe." Just venture forth to http://www.jeffstrand.com and click the "Free X-Mas Story" link at the top. Enjoy!

Could It Be? A New Website?

If you've visited my website over the past couple of months, you've probably shaken your head sadly and clucked your tongue in disapproval at its shameful out-of-dateness. Wasn't my fault. My computer crash cost me the use of FrontPage, and so my poor website sat out there on the Internet pretending that DISPOSAL and THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR hadn't been published yet.

Now, the solution was simple. My wife had recently redesigned her site (http://www.lynnehansen.com) using WordPress, which is really just a blog-hosting service, but it's customizable enough that you can make a pretty good website out of it. I wasn't looking for anything fancy--just functional. I decided to do the same thing. I registered for a WordPress account, added a friendly "Under construction" message, and then...

...did nothing. "Do The Damn Website" remained on my to-do list for several months, but it was a large, scary undertaking and I didn't wanna mess with it. However, in a shocking plot twist, my wife revealed last weekend that she'd been working on it for a while, and 90% of the labor was complete. All I had to do was plug in a bunch of URLs, revise some of the book descriptions, update some laughably old stuff, and a few other tweaks.

There's still some screwy formatting that I haven't yet been able to defeat, and I haven't verified that all of the links work, and there's a LOT of material that I want to add...but, nevertheless, it's suitable for public viewing.

http://jeffstrand.wordpress.com/

Book of the Week, Episode III

I am rooting for Michael McBride to succeed more than any other author. This is because our career paths have been eerily similar, and any success that one of us finds will probably be quickly mirrored by the other. So any Hollywood studios or big New York publishers who are looking for an author to shower with cash and precious gems, McBride's your guy!

McBride tends to write ambitious, large-scale novels. SPECIES was combined with the unpublished SPECIES II as CHRONICLES OF THE APOCALYPSE, nearly 600 pages of end-of-the-world goodness. GOD'S END is another epic tale, and though THE INFECTED falls into the category of "fun gory romp," it's a pretty damn ambitious fun gory romp.

But he can also tone things down quite a bit, as with his most recently published work, BLOOD WISH. This one is part of the hardcover chapbook series from Delirium Books, meaning that it's slightly smaller than a mass market paperback and perfect for taking along to, say, the dentist's office, which is where I read a good chunk of it. Honestly, the Delirium hardcover chapbooks are such a neat, sturdy little product that I wish they were priced for readers instead of collectors, but BLOOD WISH is a 300-copy limited edition, and almost all of 'em are gone!

As usual, I don't want to give too much away about the plot, except that this novelette is much like a contemporary fairy tale. It's a slow, careful build, subtle and creepy...until things stop being quite so subtle. The last 20 pages or so are wonderfully inventive and wicked, and BLOOD WISH is the perfect bedtime story. In fact, the "tiny little hardcover" format almost feels as if you're reading a children's book. There's no sex or profanity, and if the ending is perhaps a bit scary and gruesome...well, so is your average fairy tale!

https://www.horror-mall.com/store/product.php?productid=16715&cat=297&page=1

Score!

I got word today that my story "The Bell...FROM HELL!!!" was accepted for the new Horror Writers Association anthology, edited by Kevin J. Anderson and to be published by Pocket Books (meaning: available in bookstores across the country). The book, BLOOD LITE, is a collection of humorous horror stories, and so I don't have to tell you that I would've been bawling like a slapped second-grader if I'd been rejected.

"Wow!" you're no doubt thinking. "You're in a Pocket Books anthology? Your skills at writing tales of humorous horror must be just flat-out swell. Oh, how I regret passing up the opportunity to purchase your upcoming--in February--collection GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES! No doubt after thousands of readers glimpse that bell from hell story, they'll actively seek out more of your demented short works, and, woe and misery, I could've had a copy reserved for my own enjoyment and subsequent obscenely inflated auction price!"

Fear not, slacker:

https://www.horror-mall.com/store/product.php?productid=16740

Now off with ye!

Random Bits-o-Blogging

1. In my novel CASKET FOR SALE (ONLY USED ONCE), Andrew Mayhem gets his left pinky chopped off. He goes on to have a wild, action-packed adventure. I slashed my left pinky while opening a stupid self-heating container of cocoa, and it hurts like a sumbitch. You don't realize how much you use your left pinky in the typing process until it's bandaged up.

2. Got my official acceptance for a short story today: "The Apocalypse Ain't So Bad." According to the acceptance letter, one of the slushpile readers' reaction was "Bravo! Now this is dark comedy at its finest." Cool. I'm not allowed to blab the name of the anthology yet, but I will soon. (For those of you in HWA, no, it wasn't BLOOD LITE. I did submit a story to that one, and as of yet I haven't received word that I'm out of the running...)

3. ENCHANTED is a textbook example of a wonderful movie that could have gone terribly, terribly wrong. Handled differently, this could've easily been the worst movie of the year. Instead, it's one of the best. (Though I have yet to see NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.)

4. Personal note to Jason Lee: If you can't get the "ALVIN!!!" shout right, you shouldn't be playing Dave in the ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS movie. I mean, really.

5. The cover to the new Andrew Mayhem project (not Book #4; more like Book #3.25) is way-cool. Keep watching this space.

The Flop Sweat Was Forming At My Temples...

DISPOSAL has actually earned me some of the best reviews of my career. However, this review made me very nervous while I was reading it. Check it out, and tell me those first couple of paragraphs don't sound like they're building up to something like "But never in my life did I imagine that the fates would torture me with such cruelty as to make me read DISPOSAL!"

http://www.fearzone.com/blog/disposal-review

Book of the Week, Episode II

Know what would suck? You write this awesome book. Early readers call it one of the best debut novels in a loooooooooong time. You sell it to a small press that seems destined for greatness. Horror fans whisper "Gotta read it gotta read it gotta read it gotta read it" in their sleep. The hype is phenomenal. Your book gets published...

...and then your publisher goes out of business. Bookstores report difficulty getting the copies they need to fill pre-orders. Just when the ordering frenzy should be at its highest peak, the book is unavailable.

And so it happened with John R. Little and his novel THE MEMORY TREE. Oh, sure, I got my copy directly from him at the World Horror Convention--heh heh--but in the end he was left with a large audience and a small number of books. Better than having dumpsters filled with books that nobody wants to buy, but still, it sucks.

(The demise of Nocturne Press also cost readers the chance to read THE CORRUPTED by Drew Williams--which has since found another publisher--and PEOPLE ARE STRANGE by James Newman, for which I wrote a very silly foreword. What a cruel, cruel world!)

But, hey, when you've got talent like John Little, you move up in the world. Namely, to Necessary Evil Press, home to some of the finest-lookin' collector's edition books on the market. Though best known for their hardcovers, they also do a series of paperback novelettes featuring the rising talents, the most recent of which is PLACEHOLDERS by...wait for it...John R. Little.

PLACEHOLDERS is one of those stories where the surprises start from the very beginning, and I really don't want to spoil anything. I could do the high-concept movie trick of saying that it's "_________ meets _________" but that would a) give away too much, and b) be a disservice to the sheer inventiveness of this novelette. It falls into the "What the hell is going on?" category of storytelling, which is not a favorite of mine, but I loved this one and tore through it to the (completely satisfying) conclusion.

It's heartfelt. It's suspenseful. It's fascinating. It's mean and nasty. It is, quite simply, a great story, wonderfully told. You must buy it, read it, and cackle with glee ten years from now when it's worth enough to buy a private island.

Oh, yeah--this one, a 275-copy limited edition--is sold out from the publisher, though unlike THE MEMORY TREE that was supposed to happen. Usually "sold out" means that you can still get it pretty easily from online bookstores, but I see now that I'm trying to pull up the appropriate URLs for your clicking convenience that PLACEHOLDERS seems to be pretty darn scarce. However, it looks like you can get all three of the Necessary Evil Press novelettes as a set (all highly recommended--in fact, author Michael McBride will be featured for Book of the Week #3) right here:

http://www.camelotbooks.com/catalog/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=125&products_id=2709

A Google search will turn up other sources (with a markup, unfortunately). Keep up with the world of John R. Little at his personal website right here: http://www.johnrlittle.com/

Black Quill Award!

Dark Scribe Magazine recently announced the nominees for their first annual Black Quill Awards, showcasing cool horror stuff. THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR is up for Best Small Press Chill (aka "Best Small Press Novel or Novella"), and it's also up for Best Cover Art.

Visit the handy URL below to check out the snazzy video presentation of the nominees (or read them in regular ol' list form) and then vote, damn ye!

http://www.darkscribemagazine.com/nominees/

Book of the Week, Episode I

Hey, kids, it's Sunday! And you DON'T know what that means, because it's a brand new feature on this blog: Book of the Week, where I babble about some book that I didn't write but which you should order anyway.

I get asked to read a lot of books for potential quotes saying how awesome they are, and I've been trying to say "NO!!!" like a heartless bastard because I don't want to be seen as a blurb slut. Most of the time, though, I wuss out and say "Sure." It's still pretty cool to read a book before the general public, and some of my favorite books of the year (JOHN DIES AT THE END by David Wong and NOTHING TO LOSE by Steve Vernon) came from blurb requests.

So, over the weekend I finished reading a PDF of Scott T. Goudsward's TRAILER TRASH and thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't know anything about the book beforehand, but I kinda figured from the title that it was some good ol' redneck horror. Nope. It's a vampire novel.

What I liked most about this book is the scope. An amazing amount of stuff happens in 280 pages. In fact, there are almost times where the book moves TOO fast, where you realize that you've covered in a single chapter what another reasonably fast-paced novel would've covered in three, but I'll take this over a novel where vampires stand around moping for 50 pages at a time any day.

Lots of action, lots of suspense, interesting characters, and a touch of humor make TRAILER TRASH a fun, unpretentious read. It doesn't reinvent the vampire mythos or shake the genre to its foundation...but it's a darn good horror novel.



Check it out here: http://goudsward.com/scott/trailer_trash/index.htm

Candy!!!

I recently finished reading CANDYFREAK by Steve Almond, a very entertaining account of one man's obsession with candy consumption. Since this blog often covers important candy matters, I thought I'd share some candy lists and encourage you to share your own.

My All-Time Favorite Candies (in no particular order)

1. Haribo gummi bears
2. Red Vines licorice
3. Chewy Tart & Tiny
4. Jelly Bellies (with a special shout-out to Juicy Pear)
5. Cadbury Fruit & Nut chocolate bar
6. Sour Starburst
7. Shockers (formerly Shock Tarts)

My Least Favorite Major-Brand Candies (so that I'm not counting, say, this nasty-nasty-NASTY red licorice I bought in college, which was so bad that I couldn't finish it, and believe me when I say that licorice has to be unspeakably foul for me to reject it) (and also not that cheap pseudo-chocolate they sell at candy-consuming holidays)

1. Butterfinger
2. Whoppers
3. Anything coffee-flavored

Most Overrated:

1. M&Ms. I like 'em, but they ain't all that.
2. Anything with peanut butter, except, ironically, for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Most Disappointing Formula Changes:

1. Tangy Taffy. Tangy Taffy was my absolute favorite candy as a kid. But now, in an attempt to appeal to the dumber kids of today, they've mixed weird sprinkles into it. I don't like the sprinkles. I don't like sprinkles on cupcakes, either. They've ruined one of the finest candies ever. Bastards.

2. Good & Fruity. Good & Fruity used to be a challenge. Fresh out of the package, it chewed like it had been sitting out in your grandmother's candy bowl for the past six years. But it was tasty! Then they went with the new, softer edition. Good & Plenty made it through unscathed, but Good & Fruity suddenly just tasted like a jelly bean. I'm not sure if this was a fatal change, but I haven't seen Good & Fruity in years.

All right, kids, leave a comment and let's hear your own favorite/least favorite candy!