Back From Hell

As far as I can remember, I was on vacation for the past ten days. I'm not 100% sure of this, because all memory of my vacation vanished approximately seventeen seconds after I arrived at my day job this morning, but I'm told that I had a great time on the cruise.

This post is titled "Back from Hell," because I did indeed visit the town of Hell. If you ever visit Hell, be prepared for lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of jokes about going to Hell. It's named for the freaky limestone formations that, at sunset, resemble the fiery pits of Hades, and even though I didn't see them at sunset, they were still cool as, uh, hell.

I'll share an exciting trip report in tiny little pieces.

Meanwhile, PRESSURE made the preliminary ballot for the Bram Stoker Award for Best Novel, where it will get its ass kicked by the works of Tom Piccirilli, Gary Braunbeck, and Stephen King.

Self-Published Chopsticks Instructions

Here are the actual instructions from the chopsticks wrapper on my to-go Chinese dinner:

--Tuk under tnurnb and hcld firmly

--Add second chcostick hold it as you hold a pencil

--Hold tirst chopstick in originai position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything:

Whoa! Coolness!

Shocklines--the ultimate online horror shop, kiddies--just announced their bestselling books for all of 2006. PRESSURE was their 8th bestselling hardcover title for the year, and FUNNY STORIES OF SCARY SEX was their 5th bestselling softcover title.

I believe I shall do a happy little jig in the privacy of my own home.

In case you think I'm a LIAR who's MAKING THIS ALL UP because he's a PATHETIC LOSER WITH NO LIFE WHO'S DESPERATELY SEEKING ATTENTION, here's the link to the lists:

http://p082.ezboard.com/Shocklines-Bestsellers-for-2006--YearEnd-Lists/fshocklinesforumfrm2.showMessage?topicID=42249.topic

Borders, Part II & Stokers, Part I

The Borders store in Clearwater, Florida also had ten copies of PRESSURE, equally divided between the Hardcover New Releases table and the Mystery/Thriller section. I think everybody should support their local Borders store. In fact, why don't you throw on some clothes, herd the kids into the car, and make a day of it? You can enjoy the wide variety of selections from their cafe, and seek out some exciting reading material to purchase from the Hardcover New Releases table and the Mystery/Thriller section!

Meanwhile, 10 days remain in the "recommendation" phase for the Bram Stoker Award. As of the last update, PRESSURE has the third-most recommendations for Best Novel, which is kinda cool.

Of course, all a "recommendation" for the Bram Stoker Award means is that a member of the Horror Writers Association filled out the form that said "Yo! PRESSURE should be up for a Stoker!" It doesn't necessarily mean that the person who recommended the book intends to vote for it, or, in the case of Affiliate members, is even eligible to cast a vote.

It does mean that PRESSURE will appear on the preliminary ballot, along with all of the other novels that received the minimum 5 recommendations (PRESSURE has 11). At which point PRESSURE is pretty much screwed, because I'm up against people like Stephen King, Stoker fave Tom Piccirilli, Stoker fave Gary Braunbeck, etc. So I'm enjoying the smidgen of glory while I can.

Meanwhile, I'm working on a story called "Gramma's Corpse." I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Gruesome!!!

I get asked to write blurbs for books on a regular basis ("Crap, but well-intentioned crap." -- Jeff Strand, author of MANDIBLES and SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME) but I'd never blurbed a song before...until now!

The song 'Gruesome' was written and performed by Giasone Italiano, and based on the character Johnny Gruesome created by Greg Lamberson. After listening to the demo thousands of times to ensure that my words truly captured the essence of the song, I said:

"'Gruesome' screams to be played at top volume while driving at a dangerously unsafe speed down a dark bumpy road, taking out a pedestrian or two during each chorus. You'll wanna rock to this one until blood sprays out of your speakers." --Jeff Strand, author of PRESSURE and THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE.

The song had its world premiere on this week's installment of Rue Morgue Radio. It plays seven minutes into the show, and you can listen right here:

http://www.ruemorgueradio.com/

Rock on, kiddies!

A Bit of Borders Coolness

So I walked into Borders because I was in need of a 2007 pug calendar. I did a quick check of the Hardcover New Releases table...and, by golly, they had five copies of PRESSURE!

But that's not all! On the shelves of the Mystery & Suspense section, they had five MORE copies!

I haven't done any local Borders signings, so I'm not sure what happened. Was it a fluke? Did I finally break into the system? Did they actually mean to order THE PRESSURE OF DARKNESS by Harry Shannon?

I dunno. But if you happen to visit your own local Borders, and you feel like checking to see if they've got copies of PRESSURE on the shelves, please report back here. I'll love you forever.

(P.S.: They had a page-a-day pug calendar and a pug wall calendar, 50% off...SCORE!!!)