Unhealthy Fixation Update

You know, this "unhealthy fixation on Brian Keene" thing isn't as easy as some people make it look. I was 6000 words into my anti-Keene rant, when suddenly I had this mental image of his merry eyes, button nose, and impish smile, and I realized that if he were standing before me I'd just want to tickle him. That's no way to generate blog controversy.

So I'm gonna ditch that idea. There has to be a way to gain blog readers without providing legitimately interesting blog content. Maybe instead of fixating on somebody in a negative manner, I'll do it in a way-too-positive, creepy, stalker-like manner, so that people say "Oh my goodness gracious! Did you see the disturbing photo collage Jeff just posted? It made me rush right over to www.jeffstrand.com, but in a bad way!"

Any recommendations or volunteers would be greatly appreciated.

We Need Controversy!!!

To increase my blog readership, I've decided to develop an unhealthy fixation on Brian Keene. So every couple of days I'll post some long, incoherent rant about how Brian Keene is a total wiener, and--presto!!!--my blog audience will increase by seventy-five thousand percent.

I assume this will lead to increased book sales. I'll keep you posted.

Wacky Wacky Fan Mail

If you've read Gleefully Macabre Tales, you may be extremely amused to learn that I received an e-mail asking permission for an algebra teacher to pass copies of a certain story out to her class.

If you haven't read it, you're probably not amused by that, in which case you should read the book and be amused retroactively.

Thank You, Moviegoers...

...for making a box office success out of a horror movie (The Strangers) that doesn't completely suck.

We still need to work on the whole "talking during the film" thing, but it's a step in the right direction.

OMG!!! Aliens Are Real!!!

Yesterday, some journalists at a press conference got to see a three-minute video that reportedly shows an alien peeking into a bedroom window. The "grainy, black and white video" was taken in July 2003.

There are many questionable elements about the story, but I think the biggest unanswered question is: who the hell would be shooting grainy black and white video in 2003?

However, according to the expert quoted in the article, if it were a hoax, the alien would have had to be a very elaborate and sophisticated puppet. I invite you to click the link to the story and gaze upon the still photograph from the video, and gasp in amazement at the awe-inspiring spectacle that awaits...

http://www.denverpost.com/popular/ci_9427587