Jeff Saves The City (Or Dooms It)

[RECAP: Though Gleefully Macabre Tales has been saved and Mumblecrust defeated, there's still a frickin' bomb about to go off...but not if Jeff can figure out the password in one (1) minute!]

JEFF: What could it be? What could be it? "Password?" "Mumblecrust?" "Vivacious?" "Bueller?" "Conjugate?" "Gorgonzola?" "Keene?" "Afterbirth?" "Chow chow chow?" "Mayhem?" "Red Vines Original Red Twists?" "All Purpose Monkey?" "Beef?" "Carbohydrate?" "Netflix?"

ROBOTIC VOICE: You have ten seconds remaining. If you require additional time, please press "1" now.

[Jeff presses "1."]

ROBOTIC VOICE: Please enter the password for obtaining additional time.

JEFF: [Seventeen simultaneous expletives deleted.]

ROBOTIC VOICE: Nine seconds. Eight. Seven. Six. Five.

JEFF: I have to type something...but what???

ROBOTIC VOICE: Four. Three. Two.

JEFF: I'll type....uh......LUV THANG!!!

ROBOTIC VOICE: One...

[Jeff frantically types in the password.]

[Silence.]

ROBOTIC VOICE: Did you really guess "Luv Thang" as the password?

JEFF: Uh, yeah.

ROBOTIC VOICE: Thousands of lives at stake, and you guess "Luv Thang?"

JEFF: Was I right?

ROBOTIC VOICE: No you weren't right, dumbass! The password was "Mumblecrust." What the hell else did you think it was going to be? You put the fate of this entire city in the hands of "Luv Thang." Now I'm just depressed. I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to blow up. Screw it all. I don't need this.

JEFF: So I saved the city?

ROBOTIC VOICE: Yeah, yeah...well, no, I guess I should get over it. Detonation in five...four...three...two....AAARRRRGGHHH!!!!

[The kittens pounce upon the bomb, tearing it to bits.]

JEFF: Wow. It's all over. The Mumblecrust saga has ended. The bad guys are dead, Gleefully Macabre Tales is saved and will go up for pre-order in, like, an hour and a half, several of my blog readers have achieved immortality, and the kittens are well-fed. All in all, it was a very successful adventure. Okay, I'm a bit bummed that Michael McBride is dead, but aside from that, all's well that ends well!

READER #237: You know, if you wanted to promote your short story collection, you could've just bought an ad.

JEFF: D'oh!!!


- The End -