Eight More Films To Die For
Yep, this weekend was the second year of the After Dark Horrorfest (which runs through the 18th). There was a lot of criticism of this year's event--mostly in the form of hilariously illiterate posts in the Horrorfest forums--and the movies I saw played to crowds even smaller than Halloweenapalooza. But, hey, they put eight independent horror flicks in my local theatre, none of which were Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN, and so I was there, baby!
The rundown...
UNEARTHED: The creature from ALIEN (uncredited) kills people in the desert. I'm always up for a monster movie, but this is yet another in the long line of films directed in the "Whenever something cool happens, let's just SHAKESHAKESHAKE the camera as hard as we can and render the sequence incoherent!" style. I wonder if these people are saving money by just pointing a camera at their cat or their bookshelf, since we can't tell what's happening anyway. As you might expect, UNEARTHED doesn't offer a whole lot beyond the monster attacks, and thus doesn't offer anything.
BORDERLANDS: Though this one will certainly be catgorized as "torture porn," it really isn't. Oh, sure, there's torture in it, especially in the grueling opening sequence, but the question is always "Will they get out of this mess?" and not "How will they die?" Suspenseful, exciting, and even offers up some nice character touches.
CRAZY EIGHTS: ...and the glory of BORDERLANDS comes crashing back down. The acting is pretty good (well, okay, not Traci Lords so much) but this one is horribly written and directed. A textbook example of shocks that just flat-out don't work. If a guy falls down some stairs and mangles his leg, or a window comes down and crushes somebody's neck, there should be SOME kind of impact, but these and countless other moments are handled so poorly that you barely even register that they happened until the characters start talking about it.
THE DEATHS OF IAN STONE: ...and then we bounce back up with this inventive, energetic movie about a guy who dies every single day, and wakes up in another life. Yeah, I could've done without the bad guys dressing up in MATRIX gear, but this was the most flat-out entertaining film of the festival. If any of them get a solo release (like THE ABANDONED last year), it'll probably be this one.
MULBERRY STREET: In New York City, rat bites turn people into psycho killer human rats. Though it sounds cheesy (heh) it's played completely straight and is surprisingly scary and intense. The characters (poor residents of a run-down apartment complex) and likeable and we kinda hope they don't turn into psycho killer human rats. Uses that same frickin' SHAKESHAKESHAKE camerawork as UNEARTHED, but to much better effect.
TOOTH AND NAIL: The quality curve of this one is like a playground slide. Starts off great, and then gradually becomes not-so-great, and then is merely good, and by the end it's absolutely brain-dead. It's so stupid by the end that it assumes that the audience's intelligence has been sucked away with the film's, and thus gives us a late flashback to illustrate a plot point that not even the dumbest, drunkest audience member could have missed. Bummer.
LAKE DEAD: Contributes absolutely nothing new to the genre, but it's a good ol' fashioned inbred redneck slasher flick, and on that level it works just fine. You won't find me complaining about good ol' fashioned inbred redneck slasher flicks. I liked it. You might not. I discourage you from doing a hard-sell to convince a loved one to see it using my recommendation as a selling point, but I had fun and I admit it without shame.
NIGHTMARE MAN: Actually, this one plays today, but I saw it last year at the Halloween Horror Picture Show and really enjoyed it. Good ol' fashioned supernatural slasher fun, without the inbred rednecks.
With the pathetic attendance this year, a third one seems unlikely...but then again, the whole event is largely an advertisement for the DVD releases anyway. If there is, I'll be there. Come join me--I won't have any trouble saving you a seat.
The rundown...
UNEARTHED: The creature from ALIEN (uncredited) kills people in the desert. I'm always up for a monster movie, but this is yet another in the long line of films directed in the "Whenever something cool happens, let's just SHAKESHAKESHAKE the camera as hard as we can and render the sequence incoherent!" style. I wonder if these people are saving money by just pointing a camera at their cat or their bookshelf, since we can't tell what's happening anyway. As you might expect, UNEARTHED doesn't offer a whole lot beyond the monster attacks, and thus doesn't offer anything.
BORDERLANDS: Though this one will certainly be catgorized as "torture porn," it really isn't. Oh, sure, there's torture in it, especially in the grueling opening sequence, but the question is always "Will they get out of this mess?" and not "How will they die?" Suspenseful, exciting, and even offers up some nice character touches.
CRAZY EIGHTS: ...and the glory of BORDERLANDS comes crashing back down. The acting is pretty good (well, okay, not Traci Lords so much) but this one is horribly written and directed. A textbook example of shocks that just flat-out don't work. If a guy falls down some stairs and mangles his leg, or a window comes down and crushes somebody's neck, there should be SOME kind of impact, but these and countless other moments are handled so poorly that you barely even register that they happened until the characters start talking about it.
THE DEATHS OF IAN STONE: ...and then we bounce back up with this inventive, energetic movie about a guy who dies every single day, and wakes up in another life. Yeah, I could've done without the bad guys dressing up in MATRIX gear, but this was the most flat-out entertaining film of the festival. If any of them get a solo release (like THE ABANDONED last year), it'll probably be this one.
MULBERRY STREET: In New York City, rat bites turn people into psycho killer human rats. Though it sounds cheesy (heh) it's played completely straight and is surprisingly scary and intense. The characters (poor residents of a run-down apartment complex) and likeable and we kinda hope they don't turn into psycho killer human rats. Uses that same frickin' SHAKESHAKESHAKE camerawork as UNEARTHED, but to much better effect.
TOOTH AND NAIL: The quality curve of this one is like a playground slide. Starts off great, and then gradually becomes not-so-great, and then is merely good, and by the end it's absolutely brain-dead. It's so stupid by the end that it assumes that the audience's intelligence has been sucked away with the film's, and thus gives us a late flashback to illustrate a plot point that not even the dumbest, drunkest audience member could have missed. Bummer.
LAKE DEAD: Contributes absolutely nothing new to the genre, but it's a good ol' fashioned inbred redneck slasher flick, and on that level it works just fine. You won't find me complaining about good ol' fashioned inbred redneck slasher flicks. I liked it. You might not. I discourage you from doing a hard-sell to convince a loved one to see it using my recommendation as a selling point, but I had fun and I admit it without shame.
NIGHTMARE MAN: Actually, this one plays today, but I saw it last year at the Halloween Horror Picture Show and really enjoyed it. Good ol' fashioned supernatural slasher fun, without the inbred rednecks.
With the pathetic attendance this year, a third one seems unlikely...but then again, the whole event is largely an advertisement for the DVD releases anyway. If there is, I'll be there. Come join me--I won't have any trouble saving you a seat.
posted by Jeff Strand at 8:56 AM
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