Jeff Complains About Live Music Again
Yesterday I went to the No Snow Show, an all-day eight-band concert. Because we didn't know the setup of the venue, I brought along a blanket for us to sit on. It was not a "cool" blanket. It was sort of a dumb-looking light green old lady blanket. I didn't care; I wasn't there to impress anybody with the blanket. As we were walking to the concert, some guys in a car--I swear--shouted "Look at him! He's got a blanket! Hahahahahaha!"
As it turned out, the concert was on a baseball field, and they had seats way in the back. My wife, concerned that some 15-year-old girl might see her and consider her unhip, refused to carry the blanket up to our seats while I sought out my co-worker who was going to meet us there. (As with the previous couple of concerts we've attended, the audience was 98% teenagers. I'd like our next concert experience to be something where we're the young'uns.)
The first band was Kill Hannah, who--as it turned out--were so much better than every other band in the lineup that it almost wasn't fair for them to play on the same stage. They also hung out and posed for pictures with fans afterward, which was an incredible thrill for my co-worker's two daughters. Much was said of the lead singer's unbearable hotness. I questioned this hotness, since the lead singer looks like a girl, but I was assured that this is indeed hot. My bad.
After a couple of decent but unremarkable bands, we got the joy of seeing Buckcherry, whose lead singer informed us all of the difference between a regular chick and a crazy bitch. (It was not particularly insightful.) Then he talked about how great it was the first time he tried cocaine, before singing a nice little cocaine-themed ditty. I realize that as an "edgy" singer his job is not to stand up there and say "Hey, kids, just say no, respect your elders, and get plenty of calcium!" But I'm going to take a stance here and say that if your audience is predominantly teenagers and you talk about the giddy fun of cocaine, then you're a prick.
Next up was Angels and Airwaves, who took the opposite approach and tried to perform life-changing music. But after the first song we all got a lecture about how we weren't getting into it enough, and how this wasn't his first time performing, and how he was seeing too many blank stares, and that he just wanted us to give him a little piece of himself because he was giving us his all. (To be fair, this was not said like a scolding teacher, but as if it were the introduction to an awesome power ballad.) After his lengthy demand for audience enthusiasm, he launched into one boring-ass song. The lyrics, as best as I can recall were:
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
Taking Back Sunday was next. Their musical abilities were an improvement, but the lead singer's gimmick is that he loves to swing around the microphone. Constantly. Through every song. I'm pretty sure that his aspirations of being a professional yo-yo champion were sidetracked by a musical career.
The final band was AFI. They were the second best of the evening, though still a far cry from Killing Hannah. However, though I've been told repeatedly by my wife and co-worker that their song "Miss Murder" is so catchy that you'll never get it out of your head, I can't get it to STICK in my head.
TOMORROW: I'll tell you all about my current favorite musical artist, who has 52 free songs that you can download. Woo-hoo!
As it turned out, the concert was on a baseball field, and they had seats way in the back. My wife, concerned that some 15-year-old girl might see her and consider her unhip, refused to carry the blanket up to our seats while I sought out my co-worker who was going to meet us there. (As with the previous couple of concerts we've attended, the audience was 98% teenagers. I'd like our next concert experience to be something where we're the young'uns.)
The first band was Kill Hannah, who--as it turned out--were so much better than every other band in the lineup that it almost wasn't fair for them to play on the same stage. They also hung out and posed for pictures with fans afterward, which was an incredible thrill for my co-worker's two daughters. Much was said of the lead singer's unbearable hotness. I questioned this hotness, since the lead singer looks like a girl, but I was assured that this is indeed hot. My bad.
After a couple of decent but unremarkable bands, we got the joy of seeing Buckcherry, whose lead singer informed us all of the difference between a regular chick and a crazy bitch. (It was not particularly insightful.) Then he talked about how great it was the first time he tried cocaine, before singing a nice little cocaine-themed ditty. I realize that as an "edgy" singer his job is not to stand up there and say "Hey, kids, just say no, respect your elders, and get plenty of calcium!" But I'm going to take a stance here and say that if your audience is predominantly teenagers and you talk about the giddy fun of cocaine, then you're a prick.
Next up was Angels and Airwaves, who took the opposite approach and tried to perform life-changing music. But after the first song we all got a lecture about how we weren't getting into it enough, and how this wasn't his first time performing, and how he was seeing too many blank stares, and that he just wanted us to give him a little piece of himself because he was giving us his all. (To be fair, this was not said like a scolding teacher, but as if it were the introduction to an awesome power ballad.) After his lengthy demand for audience enthusiasm, he launched into one boring-ass song. The lyrics, as best as I can recall were:
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
I'll be your distraction.
Taking Back Sunday was next. Their musical abilities were an improvement, but the lead singer's gimmick is that he loves to swing around the microphone. Constantly. Through every song. I'm pretty sure that his aspirations of being a professional yo-yo champion were sidetracked by a musical career.
The final band was AFI. They were the second best of the evening, though still a far cry from Killing Hannah. However, though I've been told repeatedly by my wife and co-worker that their song "Miss Murder" is so catchy that you'll never get it out of your head, I can't get it to STICK in my head.
TOMORROW: I'll tell you all about my current favorite musical artist, who has 52 free songs that you can download. Woo-hoo!
posted by Jeff Strand at 12:43 PM
2 Comments:
I'm totally with you on Buckcherry. I saw them here (Weedsport, NY) at an all-day concert, and my morals hurt for weeks afterward.
Damn. I'm getting old. At least I got to catch Breaking Benjamin and Seether too. :-)
(P.S. JA Konrath told me to link to you. I'm linking, but not cuz he said so. Only because you have enriched my life immeasurably. *G*)
J.A. Konrath is awesome. I mean, I wouldn't want to share a cell with him or anything like that, but he's a great guy.
As far as I'm concerned, Buckcherry can encourage the snorting of cocaine off the backs of illegal immigrant hookers at a 21+ show, but when you're talking to kids, knock it off!
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